Stigma Should Not Be Your Trademark

Every time a violent crime is attributed to someone’s mental illness a lot of people become infuriated, saying that mentally ill people aren’t violent!
But sometimes mentally ill people are violent and they are also in need of advocacy.

Paranoia, hallucinations, delusions, psychosis, compulsions, anger, narcissism, violent urges, kleptomania, hoarding, hypersexuality, homelessness, drug addiction, sex addiction – these are all valid symptoms and products of mental illness and ignoring them because they don’t fit the tidy image of a quiet introvert avoiding eye contact is unfair and unnecessary.

People who have mental illnesses have been portrayed as weak for so long that we are afraid to reveal the extent to which we are suffering whilst simultaneously trying to justify the very existence of our illness. As a result of the stigma surrounding mental health, we have been forced to try and show people that mental illnesses are valid illnesses whilst hiding the symptoms which may invoke disgust or confusion, but how will that work?

“The stigmatized individual is asked to act so as to imply neither that his burden is heavy nor that bearing it has made him different from us; at the same time he must keep himself at that remove from us which assures our painlessly being able to confirm this belief about him.”

― Erving Goffman, Stigma: Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity

Trichotillomania, trichophagia, dermatillomania, antisocial personality disorder, multiple-personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, schizophrenia - these disorders are also valid and in ignoring them because they are unpleasant we are doing a huge disservice to the thousands of people who suffer from these disorders. They suffer in shame because we refuse to acknowledge them. But guess what? Mental illnesses are unpleasant!

They are exhausting, life-destroying and deadly. They can be violent, but that doesn’t mean they are less deserving of support. They can be difficult to understand, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

The boy who compulsively masturbates beyond the point of self-injury needs you to address the emotional pain they are trying to mask – not look at him in disgust.

The girl who compulsively pulls and eats her hair, leading to the surgical removal of a hair ball from her stomach needs your compassion– not shame.

The man who violently attacked someone during a schizophrenic episode needs treatment – not raised eyebrows.

The woman who hasn’t showered or brushed her teeth in a week needs representation – not silence.

The father who hasn’t left his house in 10 years isn’t just a burden.

The mother who attempts suicide isn’t selfish.

The very fact that we find talking about these disorders and symptoms uncomfortable shows why we need to talk about them. Can you imagine how uncomfortable those sufferers are, dealing with these symptoms every day? We need to validate, try to understand, and talk about their experiences, not magnify their shame with silence.

You can’t just talk about the symptoms which are convenient and brush the rest under the carpet, it doesn’t work like that.

So, ask yourself this:

when you say we need to stop the stigma surrounding mental illness, do you mean all mental illnesses?

“To not have your suffering recognized is an almost unbearable form of violence.”
― Andrei Lankov

If you liked this post you may also like The Symptom We Rarely Talk About.

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