The Fragility of Happiness

I look around and see a bunch of people distracting themselves. People working too much, watching too much TV, getting involved in too much gossip. We focus on our appearance, our grades, our income, our weight. We try a new skin care routine. A new study technique. We cut costs. We count calories. And the thing is, we are distracting ourselves from the very thing that we think these distractions will help us achieve – happiness.

But being the most attractive, and physically healthy person with the best grades and the most money would not guarantee true happiness because these are all, in different ways, external. True happiness, on the other hand, is internal. Sure, exercising, money and good grades can affect your mood and provide temporary relief but I believe that true happiness is independent. I’m not saying that you’re not really happy when you get a promotion at work or get a good grade at school but I have this idea that the ultimate state of happiness will remain no matter what your external circumstance.

Don’t get me wrong, you can be happy without reaching this state of complete contentment because very few people do, but perhaps if we keep this in mind we can wake up and face the day with contentment and with the goal of gaining even more happiness, rather than with the intent to distract ourselves from the happiness we don't already have.

It’s not that it is bad to want to look attractive or get good grades or a good job, but you shouldn’t make your happiness dependent on such external and fragile things. If your happiness depends on these things what would happen if you didn’t get the grade that you wanted? Or the job you worked for? Or if you gained a few pounds? Got a few wrinkles? Or a few grey hairs? Does all of your happiness dissolve once you receive a critique or a negative diagnosis? What then? Does your happiness become a thing of the past, forever?

Life is so unexpected, so why place your happiness on things which are so temporary and fragile? Of course, I’m not saying that you should stop doing the things which make you happy but realise that they could be taken away from you at any moment, but that doesn’t mean that your happiness must be removed forever as well.

Instead of chasing after temporary distractions, work towards internal contentment. Work towards being happy with the here and now. 

Stop making excuses for how you will be happy later. 

Stop waiting until you have a certain amount of money, until you are a certain weight, until you go to university or get a job or get married.

Stop waiting for the perfect time to be happy because that time is both now and non-existent.

Stop waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel, make your own light in there. This light may flicker, it may drift so far away that you have to squint to see it, but it is always there because that light is a part of you. It’s just waiting to be noticed.

“It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.”
– Hugh Laurie 

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If you liked this most, you may also like my other post on happiness.